Muta: the bourbon cake cocktail.

Sorry for the gap in content.  We took a nap.


 

THE MUTA

...hey guy.
Today we have the second half of the two sided cat character, Muta.  The real-world presence (aka the non-magical version) of the great glutton Renaldo Moon, from the excellent film The Cat Returns.


While Renaldo Moon is bitter and strong, with a sweet streak of the "deep down nice guy" anti-hero, Muta is... a cat, who is small compared to a human, and likes to eat cake (honestly I can't believe he's not dead, you'd think he would have gotten into some chocolate or something by now).  

With that in mind, we bring you what is an original cocktail recipe (probably... we didn't really try to look this up) based on this furry kitty who probably has an open tab for bottle service at a casino in Macau that you don't know about.  The looks smells and taste should roll up into one nice package.






Those cake flavored vodkas out there can be extremely nasty.  We're purists and think that adulterating a spirit (even a well one or straight up moonshine) with the same artificial flavors used in discount gas station ice cream, well... that's just wrong.  But some people like what they like.  So this is a sweet drink that your wussy friends might like as long as they aren't allergic to coconut or catnip.   ...or vodka, but... is that a thing?






So the "Renaldo Moon" is actually the previous episode, where we make a similar drink but with a much different personality.  Honestly, we think the "Muta" is going to taste better because we just can't stand Cachaça and we don't know what we were thinking using it in that.  Would have worked much better with Batavia Arrack.  Hell, Bacardi Silver would have been better than Leblon.

What you will need:
Vodka (one of those dessert flavors like cookie dough or something, perhaps just regular vanilla might work as well)  If you are going to use real milk/cream instead of coconut milk, you might even want to go with strawberry.
Coconut Milk.  Unlike any dairy products, it won't curdle with alcohol and it's vegan friendly.  FYI that doesn't mean it's health food, it can be fattening.
Bourbon.  Or any whiskey, or brandy, or gold rum, or anejo tequela, or Fireball, or... you get the idea. 
Catnip.  It's just for garnish this time.  Yes it's safe.  No you won't trip balls, because you're not a cat, but look on the bright side, you can eat chocolate and drink vodka and that would kill a cat so there.
Ice. Ice is going to be in this, so if your local water source smells like the pool at the YMCA or worse, you might want to use filtered or distilled water to make it.

A Shaker: you have got to know what those are by now.
A Tulip Glass:  Like last time, we're using a Belgian Ale tulip glass which looks like a shorter version of the Hurricane glass... which you can also use if you have one / feel like it / whatever.













Yes the can is upside down.  That's because the other end had a pull-tab style top which would open the entire can and make it difficult to pour out in measured amounts.  Opening it this way allows for much better management in terms of potion control. 

It's very important, to shake the crap out of the can of coconut milk.  The fats can often separate and collect on top of the water content and you end up with coconut sludge on the top and coconut water on the bottom.




Some people like very sweet drinks and so here would be the point to add some more sweetener.  You can't add any at the end because this is going to be a layered drink and so it's not going stay that way if you have to add more simple syrup later.

What is a "big ice cube"?  Well you already know it's not some little thing that comes out of one of those commercial ice makers you find at finer movie concession stands and run of the mill bars all over the country.  A "big ice cube" is well over an ounce of water. If you would like to see a comparison of ice cubes, please see our ice cube episode.  ...yes that was a thing that happened.  And it was awesome.













Widow Jane gives tours of the Brooklyn Location.  Their tasting room has been shown in our Red Dead Redemption episode.

We love Widow Jane, and it's probably the best bourbon out there that you can buy that isn't some insane collectible bullshit that's been aged 700 years in barrels charred by fire breathing dragons and touched by the hand of Stonewall Jackson himself, sealed with the bloods of said fire breathing dragon and Carrie Nation.   The good people at Widow Jane do think that their whiskey is best enjoyed neat, and by mixing it with all this stuff it might be a bit of a waste.  ...the good people at Widow Jane also know that the more people who buy their stuff the better, and so they won't be too mad if you use it for literally everything ever and start buying it by the caseload.






Layering this is very tricky.  It's something that you really should only attempt with a bar spoon or a very steady hand.  We didn't do the best job here, but at this point we were just antsy to get back to enjoying the Widow Jane.






There you have it.  A cocktail based on the character Muta.  See it even looks like him.

Coming up next:

Moscow Mule.  Mexican Mule.  Montreal Mule. 

...It's gonna get weird.

RENALDO MOON

Original Creation:

Renaldo Moon.

If you have never seen The Cat Returns, stop reading this and go watch it.  ...there that's better.

We decided that it was high time the larger than life cat Renaldo Moon had his own cocktail named after him.  So we decided to come up with one.  Actually, we created one of two.  The second one will use his human-world monicker Muta, and will be featured next.

To get started, you must remember that Renaldo Moon is no fluffy cutesie fur-ball, but a giant of a feline with a gruff voice and personality to match.  He's bigger than you, and couldn't give a crap if he doesn't leave food for anyone else at the buffet.  This is a drink that he himself would like, because it's adult, strong, and kind of looks like him.  His reluctant heroism is tempered by his bad attitude and lack of manners, and so too is this sweet concoction tempered with the bitterness of one of the world's most difficult-to-like spirits:  Cachaca.

 

Pictured:  Renaldo Moon not giving a fuck.

We at Pinky Mixology have actually expanded our tasting panel for this one, having many people try it out before bringing it to you.  The net result was a 60% approval rate, with 60% of the participants liking it, and 40% of participants stating they wouldn't want to drink it again... ever.  So, take that as it is, and never be afraid to try out your own versions.






What you will need:
Cachaca:  Pronounced Ka-Cha-Sa, it is often simply referred to as un-aged Brazilian white rum.  To be honest, we're not sold on this stuff, and so if hardcore alkies like us wouldn't want to drink it, you know there's something up with it.  Pictured here is Leblon, which... comes in a pretty bottle.
Coconut Milk:  Just regular coconut milk, or you can use Pina Colada mix so long as it doesn't contain pineapple juice.,
Absinthe:  This stuff is strong and expensive.  ...that's pretty much it.  Featured here is Le Tourment Vert which some call absinthe, and some call absinthe-style.  It's good enough for this use, since we're mixing it into a cocktail and not having it straight.
Simple Syrup:  You will need a lot of this.  Cachaca is kind of nasty and needs sugar to cover that up.
Catnip:  It's named Renaldo Moon, so there's gonna be fresh catnip.
Ice:  Make sure its made from good water.  You put crappy ice in a good drink and it ruins everything.
Hurricane Glass:  They look like this.  We didn't have one, so we went with a stemmed tulip glass, which... was close enough.






























Infusing catnip into Cachaca with some sugar really did tame its raw taste to the point where you might be able to drink it on the rocks.






















You can add extra ice if what you use in the shaker melts too much.




















You may notice that the coconut milk can is upside-down.  That is deliberate.  Within the past 2-3 years, many coconut milk producers have been using cans with EZ open pop-tops.  This is actually ridiculous when you think about it, because coconut milk is a uniform liquid (well, in its proper state).  Sure, you might have to shake it up a bit to get the fats and water to mix together (at least until you can pour it out), but there is no reason you have to open the entire top of the can if you are only going to use a small amount.  We always use a "church key" opener for:  Coconut milk, tomato soup, pineapple juice, and broths/consumme.  There is no reason to open the whole top of the can, and so the only surface which can be properly opened by such an opener, is the bottom of the can.      























Now, we're pretty sure that there is actually no one stupid enough to do this, but don't ...DON'T give this drink to an actual cat.  Alcohol effects other animals just like humans, but think about this:  Your cat weighs what... 10 pounds?  If you weigh 100 pounds, that means one human shot is something like 10 shots for a cat.  A cat drinks 2 shots of liquor and it would be the same as you as a human putting down an entire bottle of booze.   Not only does that ruin the internal organs, but it also effects behavior just the same as it does in people... and you better hope your cat isn't a mean drunk otherwise it's gonna bite you, puke in the wound,  and not give a shit about it.   Bottom line, this has catnip in it, but it's not for cats (or anything other than humans... be responsible).


No one has said anything, but it's come to our attention that these pants-down jokes aren't as funny in light of serious crimes that have happened to people.  So we're going to stop using it as a punchline from this point on.  But no matter who/what/where you are, our cautionary tale remains the same:  Getting shit-hammered drunk to the point where you have no idea what's happening around you is something that no one should really do.  This isn't sexist advice just meant for one group, seriously, no human being should do this kind of thing, there are obvious dangers this causes. We encourage people to enjoy themselves, not put themselves in danger.

Next up:

The Muta

FYI: we're on high-anus for a bit while we get our mojo on.  Buying all this booze and then drinking it for you people to see isn't exactly easy ya know.