Margarita Revisited

THE MARGARITA

revisited with

Sriracha Margarita and Watermelon Margarita

So remember when we first started this blog?  No you don't, because we actually started it on Xanga in like 2005, but you might remember when we migrated the whole thing to Blogger when we got bored one decade.  If you do (and we're pretty sure you still don't), then you might know that our very first drink we presented to you was the Margarita.  No, not one of those frozen bowls of nastyness or some artificially flavored soda syrup out of a plastic bottle, but a real proper margarita.  

In honor of the upcoming holiday of Cinco de Mayo, we are once again revisiting the margarita, as our methods have evolved.  And we'll also be bringing you two more variants, including a sriracha and watermelon version, to make you popular with all the hipsters in your life.   So let's get started.










Now we don't want to come over all "Fox News" about this, but it's obvious that there is some little fucker out there trying to cancel fun because they got hurt in the feels.  Yep, an American college student named Daniela Hernandez thinks it's somehow wrong for anyone who isn't Mexican to celebrate cinco de mayo and so she canceled it.  Well, here at Pinky Mixology, we hate anyone who tries to cancel fun, so while we sit here and silently hope that Daniela Hernandez gets hit by a bus, we want you to go out and have as much Mexican themed revelry that you can!





Camarena Tequila is all in all an ok one to use for cocktails.  It's not the tippy-top shelf stuff that will cost you a fortune, but it's a good one to have if you're going to be mixing a lot of sweet drinks of different types, as we are about to do here.  It also comes in a pretty bottle.









We're gonna be ripping on Daniela for a while, because deep down, we think she's awful for canceling a charity fundraiser over some sort of butt-hurt.  However, the more important part, is to ditch the orange liqueur.  The only reason it's in there in the first place, is most likely the margarita started out as some alternate version of the side-car, and that did need orange stuff in it.  That's not to say that the margarita doesn't benefit from orange notes, and so that's where using orange zest to make an infusion comes in.  This works wonders and is seriously the only way to go when doing a margarita.









Just shell out for the goddam limes.





Citrus press juicers are extremely handy and no home bar is complete without one.









The amber agave nectar can darken a drink to the point where it looks weird.  The lighter stuff doesn't do that as much, and of course simple syrup doesn't do that at all.  It all comes down to what your own personal tastes are.  Just avoid using the pre-sweetened lime juice that's out there, because it's absolute crap.













We're done with mason jars and other drink weirdness.  We're coming back to the basics.





The whole trick of assembling the ingredients in the same glass you're going to serve it in, means that you'll never end up making too much or not enough to fill it up just right.  As you can see, the amber agave nectar has darkened up the drink a bit, but not to the point where it looks actually bad or anything.













We promise not to go sriracha-crazy and start putting it in everything, but seriously, this kind of thing is totally perfect for it.









The color can lead people to think that it's a fruit based drink rather than a spicy one, and so having a chili pepper hanging off the glass sends a clear message about what to expect.





You can check out our other watermelon margarita recipe, which is meant for big groups, as it produces a large amount of punch style beverage.  This one is for individual servings.


















It really is weird but watermelon juice really is kind of bland, and nowhere near as satisfying as actually chowing down on watermelon itself.  That being said, a little sugar and tiny bit of salt (yes you need that), will fix that situation.














We think she may be murdering puppies at this very moment.





If you don't know who Antonio Aguilar is, then you are missing out on life.

Most people already know this, but Cinco de Mayo is much more of an American holiday than a Mexican one (it's very regional, and only significantly celebrated in Puebla in Mexico).  So as long as you're not going to be a total asshole to people, go have fun.  Frat-boy types are always going to use anything as an excuse to get fall down drunk... take away Cinco de Mayo and St. Patrick's Day and you'll just end up with drunken keggers on Arbor day and shit.    





The orange can overpower the tequila a bit if you use a lot and leave it in there for a long time.  But 3 days to a week is perfect for this. 










































We're back, pants-less cautionary tales and all!   We're also going to be coming to you twice a month now, because ...why the hell not, right?

Red Dead Redemption: A Morning-After Cocktail

OK we're back.  We really needed a break.  Our contributors moved away, and  after going full-throttle on our postings since January, ending up in the ER, getting jerked around in the job market, having to do a bunch of government things, and forcing normalcy to return, we're back on schedule.

There will be a few schedule changes.  Our content scheduled for early April will be released in late May, and so we're just going to go with late April and move into May with what we had planned.  We would like to thank you all for bearing with us.

Now, on with the show:

Red Dead Redemption.

A variation on our Bloody Derby, we've created Red Dead Redemption to help you through those mornings (or afternoons) of ringing ears, aching heads, heaving stomachs, and the ever burning question of why did I do that?  You know you've been through one of those, and you'll be having a few more before that intervention your friends are gonna give you when this season of Game of Thrones is over.  

Red Dead Redemption is named after the exact video game you're thinking of, and so we're going to be keeping bits of wild west in this as much as we can. We're also sending it over to everyone's fave net-a-tacious cocktail blog The Drunken Moogle, since this is something that seems up their alley.  We actually wish we could send them more recipes, but it's hard to figure out a way to connect Kill la Kill to a fucking Pimm's Cup or whatever the hell.






What you will need:
Tomato Juice: This one should be obvious.  Or you can use whatever similar thing you like in your bloodies ...you wanna go Clamato?  Fine go nuts.
Bloody Mix:  A few grinds of black pepper, apple cider vinegar, chili powder/chili paste, liquid smoke, wasabi in a tube (it's really just horseradish) and Worcestershire (anything without High Fructose Corn Syrup is ok, and we prefer French's because L&P is a little too unfriendly on the pallet in the quantities we're going to be using... and since we're not working at the moment we're now cheap bastards).
Whiskey:  To keep in the spirit of Red Dead Redemption you might be tempted to track down some gut-rotting Redeye, but let's remember you're trying to actually improve your situation, so a nice bourbon is where we land.  
Extras:  You'll need half a softened/pickled jalapeño sliced up, or (if you've been very naughty) a habanero.  The more timid should go with a poblano pepper. You can also skip this step and just add a bit of your favorite hot sauce just before you shake this up.  Remember this is not about burning your face off, just getting enough heat to sooth that grossness of the hangover you're feeling. 
Hardware: 32oz Mason Jar with lid. It's nice to be able to drink the thing out of the same thing you shake it in).  Muddler. If you do use any peppers in this, you'll need this to bash them up into mush.
Ice.  This should be obvious too, but you should have plenty of ice laying around to use in this.














The "heat" comes from the seeds and the whitish veins inside the pepper.  You can slice them out before you marinate them if you want, but we're going all-out here and leaving everything in.





This is the Arctic Chill Muddler at work.  It has a toothed head which makes it great for mashing things up like this. 









Our original Bloody Mary mix can be found here.

Bloody Spice Mix:
We usually don't give out measurements but we'd be screwing you if we didn't give any in this case.  So, when making the full-size 32oz monster version of this drink:
4 Tablespoons Worcestershire sauce.
2 Tablespoon cider vinegar.
1 (maybe 1.5) Tea-spoon of tube-wasabi or horseradish.
0.5 Tea-spoon of chili powder (or chili paste... some places have it).
Between 0.25 and 0.5 teaspoon liquid smoke (brands differ in their strength and vary widely).
Mix all this stuff together with a whisk or fork until it's all combined and let it sit until the dried chili powder gets to absorb some moisture.  The goal is to reach the 4oz line on the jar (the lowest line).








Mixing it up at this point would just be to see what the overall color was going to be.

















One day we noticed that all of a sudden there were whiskey distillers all over the place.  So we went out and found the best one and asked them if they wanted to play with us.









Although not related, Six Point Beer is also right in the neighborhood, so you can make one hell of a day out of this area.









Mind-Brain.  It's a thing.












Located in Red Hook Brooklyn (that part where the Ikea is), Widow Jane Whiskey is part of the Cacao Prieto Distillery, and is an amazing place to visit.   They are happy to have you stop by for a nibble of chocolate or a sample of their amazing bourbon, or Rye, or Rum, or the Rum, their other Rum ...you get the idea.  Their store, which also sells chocolate, and tasting counter at this very kick-ass location is open Tues-Fri from 11am-5pm, and Sat-Sun 11am-7pm (because fuck Mondays).  Tours are offered for $10.  







Next door (basically in the same building) you will find Botanica, a cocktail bar and restaurant with a delicious menu of ...things you eat.  We haven't actually chowed-down there yet, but we plan to.  Combine a distillery tour with some dinner at Botanica, and finish with a walk on the scenic Valentino Pier just around the corner, and you've had a great day out in a quiet part of Brooklyn that hasn't been ruined by tourists yet. 


You can track all the locations down from their contact-us page on the Widow Jane website.





Now, with any high quality bourbon, there are going to be trepidations regarding sending it into the swimming hole where the alligators of fiery bloody cocktail territory with nothing but a pair of water-wings.  That's true, in practice, Widow Jane is best had neet or maybe on the rocks.  The vanilla (and sometimes even cocoa) notes are still in there, but when it's in some scorpion stinger juice they're tough to pick out.  The thing is, you don't need us to tell you that.  We could just post a review of what it tasted like to us, but then the only thing that would do is let you know what we think about something you should be drinking yourself.  We're here to help provide creative uses for great spirits for when you want to get your friends into them, but they might not be ready to just dive right in to having the double snifter and joining in with some Cohibas out on the terrace or whatever.  There is always that fear that the pros and aficionados have when they see amazing spirits enter into cocktail recipe arenas that might mute their full potential.

But fear not, because Widow Jane made the sparks fly, and you just weren't gonna get anything like that with some faceless mass-produced plonk from the bottom shelf of a 7-11 or a bullet proof.   Bottom line, garbage in = garbage out, and Widow Jane is quite the antithesis of garbage anything.  Pick some up and try it with this recipe, even if you're not hung over.  You'll notice that everything looks different from that level of win.  We even got a chance to try one of their Heirloom Varietals...  we still can't stop thinking about it.  If the apocalypse happens any time soon, we're running straight to this place and holding out in there.

It's tough to give a full account of all the Widow Jane offerings because we didn't go the full mile on them, but hopefully we'll be bringing you more content featuring their Bourbon, Rye, and other offerings in the future.




Back to the task at hand, our assembly instructions:

Build in a mason jar:   
1) Muddle half a sliced jalapeño in a mason jar.
2) Pour in bloody spice mix to the 4oz line (4 oz).
3) Add tomato juice to the 16oz line (12 oz).
4) Add bourbon to the 24oz line, (8 oz total).
5) Fill jar with ice, close lid and shake to chill.
6) Add more black pepper if desired and garnish.
7) Split this between more than 1 person or come to terms with the fact that you just had 8 ounces of bourbon for breakfast.





Here's a trick to bacon wrapped pretzels.  You can buy some pretzel bites, or better yet make your own (it's not hard).  Then cook whole strips of bacon by boiling them in shallow water (hear us out).  Once they are cooked and soft but with no browning, they will be flexible enough to wrap around the pretzel bites.  Once they're all wrapped up and skewered through, you can then finish cooking the bacon with a cooking torch to get it nice and crispy brown now that it's nice and secure on the stick.  Tadaaaa.   This is also how you should cook oyster crabs.   The cheese stuffed olives we just bought from the store.










Check them out here.

Next Up:  

The Margarita, Revisited.

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