The Black & Tan

Wow it's been a while. The Angry Otaku studios, parent company of Pinky Mixology, has ended a recent period of transience lasting several months, in which making new episodes was not possible. However, now that things have once again settled into a state of more permanence, we once again resume our fun filled foul-mouthed foray into potent (and maybe not so potent) potables.

Mixing 2 beers together may sound like something that was done only when stores were down to the dregs, but this thoroughly Americano-ized version presented here has become a staple in modern tap offerings.

It's important to note, that it is a lot easier to make this when you're using taps, than when you're pouring from bottles.

Here's a totally 100% accurate and unbiased historical video showing why the Black and Tans aren't a popular group in Ireland.

A "tulip glass" looks like this, and is basically the one you always get at the bar w/ the Guinness logo stenciled on it. For some reason it's just easier to use those to make these things.

Other commonly used ales and lagers are Bass, Harp, Killian's and we here at Pinky Mixology often prefer using Old Speckled Hen.








Seriously, that upside-down spoon trick only works when you're pouring from a tap, which is not as forceful as the momentum created by a bottle-neck. the right-ways spoon catches that downward motion and prevents it from spearing straight through.

Not everyone is gonna understand the "sit Ubu" reference, so here's the link to the Wikipedia article.  And here's the youtube link. 

Next Time on Pinky Mixology:
Seasonal Drink: Eggnog

Coffee Granita

Summer is here and it's time once again to point and laugh at idiot hipsters, d-bags, and 80% of people in general for buying overpriced coffee smoothies made from the lowest quality crap coffee mixed with tap water ice cubes, and sugared lard. That abomination, is of course, the Starbucks Frappuchino.

The Frappuchino: a bunch of poorly made liquid coffee spun with giant ice chunks made from tap water that only get slightly smaller in a blender; The Granita on the other hand is a delicate ice structure made out of coffee itself. Coming off in long immensely thin sheets of tiny ice crystals, the granita's texture and versatility have made it a favorite among the patrons of fine European coffee houses who can speak more languages than you ...and are thinner that you too.... ya fatass.




Pinky Street Summer Wars special edition picked up at Tokyo Kid, in Harvard Square.




Many a granita recipe involves using an ice cream machine or coming back to the freezer every 2 seconds to agitate the coffee as it freezes. But pouring coffee into an ice cream machine is a 2 step process that is too short to make an episode out of, and coming back to the freezer over and over again is dumb (sorry Alton). As you will see, the small spaces of the ice tray combined with a small bit of unfreezable ethanol will create an enjoyable crystalline structure without the annoying extra steps.

If you don't remember how to make coffee, go check out our coffee episode. Remember; if you use cheap ass bad coffee, this is gonna taste like frozen cheap ass bad coffee. We recommend you go here to the website and online-store of D'Amico Coffee Roasters for all your roasted coffee needs.

You will want to add sugar or the alternative sweetener of your choice to your coffee before it becomes cold. Or if you are going to make many drinks all with different levels of sweetness, you can make some sugar syrup and have it on hand, so that you can add it to items that are cold or frozen, without the problem of the sugar not dissolving.





*It is a must to add a small amount of flavor extracts such as Vanilla, Almond, Mint, whatever and the MUST be 35% alcohol or higher. You can also throw in Kahlua, Rum, Bourbon, almost any flavor Liqueur, Das Komet vanilla schnapps, or Vodka (which adds no flavor). The only things you wouldn't wanna add are Gin, sherry/vermouths or Jagermeister. This is because alcohol won't freeze in this, and you need a little bit in there to get in between the water to prevent large ice chunks forming which would make this tough and grainy like a bad margarita.

If you have some religious stick up your ass and seriously can't handle alcohol in that uber-small proportion (FYI if you eat a ripe banana your body makes alcohol in higher concentrations than this is going to have), then add 2-3 oz of heavy cream and a tiny pinch of salt. The fatty oils will have the same effect.




This bar-fight actually happened. No I was not involved.

Whipped cream. (Seriously, are there people who don't know how to do this?) ...There are light and heavy versions. Almost every time you see whipped cream on Pinky Mixology, it's going to be Chantilly Cream, which is almost like doughnut stuffing. Because we're hard core like that. Here's a link to a video of a Frenchman showing you how it's done.




You might not wanna google santorum if you're currently consuming anything frappuchino colored. Use Bing to search for santorum instead.



Seriously, fuck the metric system with Santorum.

Penguin Santorum Penguin Santorum Penguin Santorum Penguin Santorum Penguin Santorum

Now you can control the amount of sugar and fat that gets in your frozen treats. From low-cal no sugar added versions to insane versions that could contain bacon for all we care. The cafe granita has been around long before the frozen disasters started flowing out of coffee chains donut shops, and burger joints.

Next on Pinky Mixology:
Know Your Stuff: Infusions

Wasabi Bloody Mary

Wasabi Bloody Mary


El Bloody Mary con Waswabi.  Today we go back to basics, for the "Wasabi" Bloody Mary. Now, the Bloody Mary has some contentious beginnings, but these days it's almost universally known as a menu item throughout the world, and maintains a reputation as a "morning after" drink ...or "if it were anything else at 8:30 am, you'd have a problem" drink.

Places like to pretend they're trendy by offering a "wasabi Bloody Mary," but both they and their customers are so dumb, that they don't realize that such a name is full of shit. See, Wasabi is wasabi and not wasabi... That means if it's green and in a tube or tin and from the "Asian" section of the store and costs less than $20, it's not actually wasabi. We here at Pinky Mixology embrace this misnomer, because one's interpretation may add validity within the context of... nah fuck it, it's because we're cheap and lazy. Also, real wasabi tastes different and is expensive, and if you mixed it in a Bloody Mary, you'd probably hardly notice.  Real wasabi is not meant to be put in a cocktail like this so don't sweat it.





Don't add salt.  The other things that go in this have enough salt in them already.

Always be sure to grind pepper fresh into this, because the crapola in the pre-filled shakers at the diner or from wherever are just full of the worst kind of shit. You will notice if you try them side by side. Also, a problem with the "mix"of pepper corns you see here, is that they are different sizes, which plays hell with most grinders including mine.  You might wanna try using a bladed spice grinder (aka cheap coffee grinder).



Real wasabi comes from the roots of a water plant, and looks nothing like the green crap you get at your local sushi a-go-go place in the mall. As mentioned, real wasabi is impossible to use in a drink like this anyway, so just roll with the tube stuff.

The spice mix you make should be strong because it's a concentrate, and so it's going to get diluted in the rest of the drink. The good old pointy top squeeze bottle makes a great way to let guests spice up their own drinks at the level they want, so the pussies in the room can still have some. You can usually find these bottles at the dollar stores. Also, this stuff just doesn't really go bad, since it's super salty-spicy.



Another BBQ Bloody Mary how-to on the lazy side is here.



One of the best places to try a great garlic and dill infused vodka, is the Russian Vodka Room in New York. It's worth it, but make sure you go on a weekday, otherwise, you're in for quite the long wait.









So I'm drivin' home from the bar and I bash into this chick from the office and I'm all like "hey bloody, is your name Mary? 'cause I could sure use another cocktail!" ...hahaha. Nah, just kidding, she's in the trunk.



Of course, like many (but not all) cocktails, you can skip the alcohol in this one and just leave it as a nice spicy tomato juice drink for the "Virgin Mary" crowd. It will still have the same spicy qualities and you'll still look hipster-cool when you have it with "brunch" at 4pm over in Williamsburg or Portland or wherever.


Something's wrong w/ the "next time" photo. Guess you're all in for a surprise on 06/07.

Hot Chocolate (on a cappuccino steamer)

Making hot chocolate with a steamer:

Nothing beats hot chocolate that's made the right way. The nasty powder crap from that uppity Swiss broad or that fake chocolate milk made with syrup that they heat up over at that hipster coffee house is no substitute for actual hot chocolate, as you shall soon see.

Read the labels dumbass.

Avoiding heat will just prevent the chocolate from melting and getting all over whatever you're chopping it with, which is a pain to clean up.

Making sure that the chocolate, the milk, and whatever you steam it in, isn't refrigerator cold, will speed things up. It should be warmer than room temp, in order to get things going. To avoid getting too hot, too much foam building up, or oils separating, use a stop-go method back and forth maybe 3 times, and it will come out much better.

Stove-top methods are fine too. Here's a great one from CIA.

Here's a link to a method of making chocolate whipped cream.
And another one
...and if you can actually handle Rachel Ray... here's a video of her doing something like that.

Finally, a rare occurrence here at Pinky Mixology, but we're going to recommend not adding any booze to this one (apart from a dash of vanilla extract in the whipped cream), even creme de cacao or that Godiva stuff. The chocolate in this thing is some high quality shiznit, and it's in a perfect balance, something that would get thrown off with the addition of any hooch.

FYI You are looking at about 1/2 of what was made. Don't try to shove everything into one mug, or you'll have a hard time.

Next month things get spicy with the Wasabi Bloody Mary.



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Mulled Cider (aka Spiced Cider)

And now, we bring you a semi-seasonal appropriate drink of Mulled Cider. This mulled cider recipe takes into account that most of you schlubs don't have access to fresh spices, and uses the kind of middle America mega-mart crap you're likely to have around. Also, it's another one that you can give to your non-alcohol-drinking friends, although a much better solution to that issue is simply to not associate with the Ladie's Temperance Movement type of people.

Remember, don't do this with apple juice, because that's dumb.  You need American Sweet Cider for this. Check the footnotes for more info.

Pinky Street ladies don't measure, because they've done this for too long and so they know how much they like. You can either wing it until it tastes how you like it (which is not hard) or check around for some references.

Some other Mulled Cider links are:
eHow's take on Mulled Cider.
A video tutorial on youtube.
Betty here uses spicy chili powder in this version.

Spices used are fake cinnamon known as Cassia, Cloves, Allspice, Nutmeg, Orange or Lemon Zest, not pictured (or used) is Star Anise. Star Anise does nothing really at this point, since it gets overpowered by everything else in here, but you can still throw it in a single mug before serving to people if you want to look all smart and impress the simps you hang out with.

It's much easier to make fruit zests with one of these, than it is with one of these.

The above image was taken here; Sahadi's Imports in Brooklyn NY.

The above Applejack is actually made by being distilled the same way just about all other liquor is.  Don't try to freeze hard cider at home to make your own Applejack, it won't work and you'll end up with hangover-juice.

Ginger paste can be made or bought. Read the label though, because you never know what ends up in those pre-made things in the plastic tubes.

"Blooming" the spices with a little bit of sweet vinegar can also work if you're looking to avoid booze (ya pansy). It won't be exactly the same, but it will help.

Sugar Chemistry and such.




Cone brewing, not just for coffee anymore.

Unfortunately not used in this example, a much finer quality AppleJack other than Laird's is Cornelius Applejack. It's worth it.

Raw Ciders and Apple Cider Donuts have been picked up at Goold Orchard, and Golden Harvest Farms in New York.

Next up; The cold weather drinks continue, with Pinky Street super-thick Hot Chocolate.

Hot Chocolate and Pinky Street - two awesome things together.
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The Daiquiri

With most of AMerica covered in snow, what better to lay back with than a nice ice cold daiquiri. No not some neuvo fi-fi frozen piece of crap you get at TGI-fucktards. No, this is the real deal shabang. So go make a few and have them with your breakfast so you can feel like you're in an episode of Mad Men, as Asuka Langly guest stars in "The Daiquiri."




Yes, the Nigerian scammer video thing actually happened.






That Asuka, guess she's a mean drunk.

Behold, the making of the Daiquiri and the concequences that can follow. You either end up like Hemingway, or end up like Hemingway. Either way, be careful when jailbait gets ahold of these things.


See you next time for MULLED CIDER.



Mulled Apple Cider and Pinky Street give you a warming relief this winter.

Know your stuff: The best Wine and what it's bottled in. Corks vs screw tops.

OK, Lindsey Lohan crazy straw wine in a box aside, wine has always been seen as something snooty. If you have to feel all Hipster Ironic and drink something from the bottom of the food chain, you can always remind yourself that during Ancient Rome and Egypt, wine was the drink of choice of the kind of class of people that you pretend to be in touch with.

But some people still think that a screw top instantly means it's Night Train or Ripple. Is this still true? Only the anime firgures of Pinky Street can tell us.

This was before we discovered wine in a tetrapack.



Based on a true story.



All corks pictured are synthetic corks.
Wines Pictured: 2004 Yarraman Estate Hell Raiser Cab Merlot Blend (Australia), and 2005 Sacha Lichine le Coq Rouge Vin de Pays d’Oc (France). Both found for a very good price at Heights Chateau (in 2007). And BOTH use screw-tops.



Corked wine = bad.

Now you can feel free to enjoy sophistimucated wine even if it doesn't go pop with a cork like in dem picture shows. And screw tops are great for when you are taking pulls @ work and you gotta throw the bottle back in it's horizontal hiding place before the boss comes in for the first time all day at 2pm high on coke, asking if his 3 pending secxual harrassment lawsuits have progressed any... ...'scuse me, I gotta unscrew enough tops to not care about life anymore.

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Next Up: The Daiquiri

Swiss Lemonade

OK, so in the dead of winter, the one thing you want is a nice cold tropical drink right? Damn right so shut up and read on about Suisse Lemonada, which is neither Swiss nor contains lemon anything. Yes, the cake is a lie, and so is this drink... but it's also real and you can make it and stuff. It's a Brizilian drink from Brazil.

If you're insane, you could use gin, rum, or vodka istead of water, but it's a waste since some will get left behind in the straining prosess coming up.

Short and sweet, but it can open up a world of possibilities here. This is one that your tea total friends can enjoy as well, since it's hooch-free in its pure form and you can add or not add anything you choose to the level of taste you like.

Also FYI, limes don't has as much vitimin C as Broccoli, but you probably don't want to try this with Broccoli.

Like OMG, two consecutive posts for the tea-total temperance twats? What's the world coming to? Well don't worry, we're on it. So come see us next time for ...something with booze in it or whatever.

See there ya go, the Pinky Street Mixology girls take on wine.