Know your stuff: Vodka Infusions

We're back on a roll with a new way to make booze interesting, bringing you another Know Your Stuff entry about making your own flavored vodkas that taste way better than that artificially flavored yuck that they have next to the pints of triplesec and what not. Our crack team of writers is working on more Santorum jokes (which when you think about it, is not easy in a blog devoted to beverages for actual drinking, unless you go full-retard Santorum, which can be nasty) and coming up with lovely new potables for the booze-hounds and tea-totalers alike.

So enjoy Know Your Stuff, Infusions:





Yes, the Russian Vodka Room is a real place. You name it, they've made a flavored vodka out of it.







Garlic and basil (with a tiny amount of oregano) is not only the best way to do a Bloody Mary, but you can drink it warm when you have a cold. Good stuff.




Don't think that you can speed up any alcohol infusion with a foodsaver.  A foodsaver can only increase the surface area that gets exposed (so if you want vodka soaked fruit, it will help, but if you want fruit flavored vodka it won't help).  This is because a foodsaver can't speed up osmosis, which is the process that allows you to jailbreak all of those essential flavors from the cells of the fruit without having to demolish the actual cells into a paste.  If you wait 2 weeks and then taste one of these fruit pieces, it will actually taste like nothing, because all the awesome flavor is in the hooch.





Check out our Wasabi Bloody Mary, with inclusion of the ingredient list of the BBQ Bloody Mary.












There ya go! So go get some stuff, throw it in a jar full of alcohol, and see what happens. Also FYI if you're gonna use Garlic, never ever ever (seriously) use that pre-cut in the jar crap-spackle you see at the grocery store. Seriously, it will turn it to total shit.

Next Time on Pinky Mixology: The Arnold Palmer.

See you then.

Champagne Coctails for Valentine's Day

We're back with a special episode of Pinky Mixology! This episode features love, romance, booze, and a special pair of guest hosts! Making their first appearance here on Pinky Mixolgy are the Nendoroid Panty & Stocking for your enjoyment.

Today, we'll be covering those sparkling wine concoctions that seem to be all the rage these days. Here's how to make one. Also, keep in mind that (if for some reason you actually want to), these can all be made with many non-alcoholic beverages such as sparkling cider like Martinelli's, ginger ale/7up, seltzer water, club soda,  ...but probably not Diet Coke though.



You'll notice that there's a Martinelli's in there. Like I said, you can use that to make a 100% non-alcoholic version of this ...if you're into the tea-total thing. But then again if you are, I don't think you'd be hanging around this site. Anyway, as for other bubbly wine options: The sweetest would be Moscato Frizzante, but the most widely available and easy on the wallet would be Prosecco.






Believe it or not, despite being an insane racist christian fundamentalist prohibition-fixated fun-hating cunt-burger who routinely engaged in the frequent criminal destruction of private property , Carrie Nation was once semi-hittable:


Maybe if she put down God's Big Book of Bad Ideas and got laid more often (or at all), she wouldn't have turned out like this:

Kill it with fire!

Always always add a tiny pinch of salt to this as well.  Without it, you won't taste the awesomeness to its full potential.  This is a good rule to follow for all things that are meant to be sweet.

A Chinoise is also called a China-Cap and is one of those over expensive things they sell at Williams & Sonoma that rich people buy while pretending they're not rich because they're cooking their own food.











Will this be the first of many Nendoroid appearances? ...no. These things can't stand up on their on and slipped and slid around like they were buried in wrist deep Santorum ...see there it is.

Next Time (We're really gonna do Infusions).

Ginger Beer / Ginger Ale

We're back for 2012 mofos!

It's time for do it yourself ginger beer. With a bit of a "winter ale" twist, we show you how to make your own sweet ginger beverage at home. This is more or less the non-alcoholic version, with dry versions possible but taking upwards of 2 weeks and requiring equipment not shown here.

So sit back relax and enjoy this foray into ...whatever the hell this is.



























This looks so dark because we boiled the sugar with a little water to the point where it was really cooked and caramelized (being careful not to burn it).  We try lots of things here but if you do boil anything, make sure it's cooled off before it comes in contact with the yeast, otherwise the heat will kill it and then this will be blah.








While baking yeast technically can work here and is a staple of teenage dorm-wine, and the finer pruno vintages out there, it really can make this stuff a bit nasty. Brewing yeasts can make enough gas but have been selectively cultured to not taste like ass.






Almost another santorum joke. We just can't help it, we're totally immature.

Cooling these things down will slow the gas-generation down but not stop it 100%. Pressure can still build up in there, so don't forget about these things.

Next Time: Valentine's Day Champagne Shooters!

-Pinkys out.