Original Creation:
Renaldo Moon.
If you have never seen The Cat Returns, stop reading this and go watch it. ...there that's better.
We decided that it was high time the larger than life cat Renaldo Moon had his own cocktail named after him. So we decided to come up with one. Actually, we created one of two. The second one will use his human-world monicker Muta, and will be featured next.
To get started, you must remember that Renaldo Moon is no fluffy cutesie fur-ball, but a giant of a feline with a gruff voice and personality to match. He's bigger than you, and couldn't give a crap if he doesn't leave food for anyone else at the buffet. This is a drink that he himself would like, because it's adult, strong, and kind of looks like him. His reluctant heroism is tempered by his bad attitude and lack of manners, and so too is this sweet concoction tempered with the bitterness of one of the world's most difficult-to-like spirits: Cachaca.
Pictured: Renaldo Moon not giving a fuck.
We at Pinky Mixology have actually expanded our tasting panel for this one, having many people try it out before bringing it to you. The net result was a 60% approval rate, with 60% of the participants liking it, and 40% of participants stating they wouldn't want to drink it again... ever. So, take that as it is, and never be afraid to try out your own versions.
What you will need:
Cachaca: Pronounced Ka-Cha-Sa, it is often simply referred to as un-aged Brazilian white rum. To be honest, we're not sold on this stuff, and so if hardcore alkies like us wouldn't want to drink it, you know there's something up with it. Pictured here is Leblon, which... comes in a pretty bottle.
Coconut Milk: Just regular coconut milk, or you can use Pina Colada mix so long as it doesn't contain pineapple juice.,
Absinthe: This stuff is strong and expensive. ...that's pretty much it. Featured here is Le Tourment Vert which some call absinthe, and some call absinthe-style. It's good enough for this use, since we're mixing it into a cocktail and not having it straight.
Simple Syrup: You will need a lot of this. Cachaca is kind of nasty and needs sugar to cover that up.
Catnip: It's named Renaldo Moon, so there's gonna be fresh catnip.
Ice: Make sure its made from good water. You put crappy ice in a good drink and it ruins everything.
Hurricane Glass: They look like this. We didn't have one, so we went with a stemmed tulip glass, which... was close enough.
Infusing catnip into Cachaca with some sugar really did tame its raw taste to the point where you might be able to drink it on the rocks.
You can add extra ice if what you use in the shaker melts too much.
You may notice that the coconut milk can is upside-down. That is deliberate. Within the past 2-3 years, many coconut milk producers have been using cans with EZ open pop-tops. This is actually ridiculous when you think about it, because coconut milk is a uniform liquid (well, in its proper state). Sure, you might have to shake it up a bit to get the fats and water to mix together (at least until you can pour it out), but there is no reason you have to open the entire top of the can if you are only going to use a small amount. We always use a "church key" opener for: Coconut milk, tomato soup, pineapple juice, and broths/consumme. There is no reason to open the whole top of the can, and so the only surface which can be properly opened by such an opener, is the bottom of the can.
Now, we're pretty sure that there is actually no one stupid enough to do this, but don't ...DON'T give this drink to an actual cat. Alcohol effects other animals just like humans, but think about this: Your cat weighs what... 10 pounds? If you weigh 100 pounds, that means one human shot is something like 10 shots for a cat. A cat drinks 2 shots of liquor and it would be the same as you as a human putting down an entire bottle of booze. Not only does that ruin the internal organs, but it also effects behavior just the same as it does in people... and you better hope your cat isn't a mean drunk otherwise it's gonna bite you, puke in the wound, and not give a shit about it. Bottom line, this has catnip in it, but it's not for cats (or anything other than humans... be responsible).
No one has said anything, but it's come to our attention that these pants-down jokes aren't as funny in light of serious crimes that have happened to people. So we're going to stop using it as a punchline from this point on. But no matter who/what/where you are, our cautionary tale remains the same: Getting shit-hammered drunk to the point where you have no idea what's happening around you is something that no one should really do. This isn't sexist advice just meant for one group, seriously, no human being should do this kind of thing, there are obvious dangers this causes. We encourage people to enjoy themselves, not put themselves in danger.
Next up:
The Muta
FYI: we're on high-anus for a bit while we get our mojo on. Buying all this booze and then drinking it for you people to see isn't exactly easy ya know.
