Eggnog

Welcome back this holiday season for some holiday drinks. This installment is Eggnog!... and it's late. It's late because... because fuck you, that's why.


Measurements this time were done carefully, so here they are:
4 Eggs
1 cup cream
1.25 cup milk
0.5tsp vanilla extract (we actually ended up using double that, but we're weird)
0.5 cup sugar
1/16-1/8tsp nutmeg (freshly ground right into the stuff)
1/8-1/2tsp cinnamon
1/4 tsp powdered ginger

The C.I.A. (Culinary Institute of America... not that other CIA), has provided a video which you can use as a basic starting point. More videos are out there that vary widely, and so I'd recommend you use your intuition as to what you'd end up liking.


Remember though, this is your drink and you can make it with whatever you like tasting at whatever quantity you want. If you want it thicker, use less milk, more cream. If you want it sweeter, use more sugar. If you like brown sugar... use that! It's not a big deal. Sweeten it with maple syrup, I'll bet that ends up tasting awesome. You think it might benefit from 8oz of Clamato? ...ok you need to re-think that one.
















You can do it the crazy way. Or you can just buy one of these.









Nutmeg was once worth more than its weight in gold. Not so much now thanks to child labor, colonial exploitation, rampant pesticides, deforestation the free hand of the market.




Egg-whites is 1 word here so that it fits on the fucking line. You don't like it? Tough.







At this point, we dd have to add just under a cup of milk, because the flavors and thickness was quite intense. Sticking to the recipe is a good idea, but don't do it when it's obvious it needs something done to improve the final result. Santorum still is funny.















Important notes:
NEVER microwave this. If you're going to heat it up, do it SLOWLY and never pass 120F, otherwise you're gonna end up with scrambled egg soup.

You can freeze leftover eggnog and it will last quite a while. Add a little booze and throw it in a blender and you have eggnog ice-cream more or less.

Having small bottles of different liquor to add makes it easy to please your guests who are expecting a bit of a kick, while at the same time being able to have just one serving bowl of a base eggnog so people who don't drink won't have to worry about which one they're taking from.

Happy Kwanzaa!

Next time: ....fuck I dunno.

The Black & Tan

Wow it's been a while. The Angry Otaku studios, parent company of Pinky Mixology, has ended a recent period of transience lasting several months, in which making new episodes was not possible. However, now that things have once again settled into a state of more permanence, we once again resume our fun filled foul-mouthed foray into potent (and maybe not so potent) potables.

Mixing 2 beers together may sound like something that was done only when stores were down to the dregs, but this thoroughly Americano-ized version presented here has become a staple in modern tap offerings.

It's important to note, that it is a lot easier to make this when you're using taps, than when you're pouring from bottles.

Here's a totally 100% accurate and unbiased historical video showing why the Black and Tans aren't a popular group in Ireland.

A "tulip glass" looks like this, and is basically the one you always get at the bar w/ the Guinness logo stenciled on it. For some reason it's just easier to use those to make these things.

Other commonly used ales and lagers are Bass, Harp, Killian's and we here at Pinky Mixology often prefer using Old Speckled Hen.








Seriously, that upside-down spoon trick only works when you're pouring from a tap, which is not as forceful as the momentum created by a bottle-neck. the right-ways spoon catches that downward motion and prevents it from spearing straight through.

Not everyone is gonna understand the "sit Ubu" reference, so here's the link to the Wikipedia article.  And here's the youtube link. 

Next Time on Pinky Mixology:
Seasonal Drink: Eggnog

Coffee Granita

Summer is here and it's time once again to point and laugh at idiot hipsters, d-bags, and 80% of people in general for buying overpriced coffee smoothies made from the lowest quality crap coffee mixed with tap water ice cubes, and sugared lard. That abomination, is of course, the Starbucks Frappuchino.

The Frappuchino: a bunch of poorly made liquid coffee spun with giant ice chunks made from tap water that only get slightly smaller in a blender; The Granita on the other hand is a delicate ice structure made out of coffee itself. Coming off in long immensely thin sheets of tiny ice crystals, the granita's texture and versatility have made it a favorite among the patrons of fine European coffee houses who can speak more languages than you ...and are thinner that you too.... ya fatass.




Pinky Street Summer Wars special edition picked up at Tokyo Kid, in Harvard Square.




Many a granita recipe involves using an ice cream machine or coming back to the freezer every 2 seconds to agitate the coffee as it freezes. But pouring coffee into an ice cream machine is a 2 step process that is too short to make an episode out of, and coming back to the freezer over and over again is dumb (sorry Alton). As you will see, the small spaces of the ice tray combined with a small bit of unfreezable ethanol will create an enjoyable crystalline structure without the annoying extra steps.

If you don't remember how to make coffee, go check out our coffee episode. Remember; if you use cheap ass bad coffee, this is gonna taste like frozen cheap ass bad coffee. We recommend you go here to the website and online-store of D'Amico Coffee Roasters for all your roasted coffee needs.

You will want to add sugar or the alternative sweetener of your choice to your coffee before it becomes cold. Or if you are going to make many drinks all with different levels of sweetness, you can make some sugar syrup and have it on hand, so that you can add it to items that are cold or frozen, without the problem of the sugar not dissolving.





*It is a must to add a small amount of flavor extracts such as Vanilla, Almond, Mint, whatever and the MUST be 35% alcohol or higher. You can also throw in Kahlua, Rum, Bourbon, almost any flavor Liqueur, Das Komet vanilla schnapps, or Vodka (which adds no flavor). The only things you wouldn't wanna add are Gin, sherry/vermouths or Jagermeister. This is because alcohol won't freeze in this, and you need a little bit in there to get in between the water to prevent large ice chunks forming which would make this tough and grainy like a bad margarita.

If you have some religious stick up your ass and seriously can't handle alcohol in that uber-small proportion (FYI if you eat a ripe banana your body makes alcohol in higher concentrations than this is going to have), then add 2-3 oz of heavy cream and a tiny pinch of salt. The fatty oils will have the same effect.




This bar-fight actually happened. No I was not involved.

Whipped cream. (Seriously, are there people who don't know how to do this?) ...There are light and heavy versions. Almost every time you see whipped cream on Pinky Mixology, it's going to be Chantilly Cream, which is almost like doughnut stuffing. Because we're hard core like that. Here's a link to a video of a Frenchman showing you how it's done.




You might not wanna google santorum if you're currently consuming anything frappuchino colored. Use Bing to search for santorum instead.



Seriously, fuck the metric system with Santorum.

Penguin Santorum Penguin Santorum Penguin Santorum Penguin Santorum Penguin Santorum

Now you can control the amount of sugar and fat that gets in your frozen treats. From low-cal no sugar added versions to insane versions that could contain bacon for all we care. The cafe granita has been around long before the frozen disasters started flowing out of coffee chains donut shops, and burger joints.

Next on Pinky Mixology:
Know Your Stuff: Infusions

Wasabi Bloody Mary

Wasabi Bloody Mary


El Bloody Mary con Waswabi.  Today we go back to basics, for the "Wasabi" Bloody Mary. Now, the Bloody Mary has some contentious beginnings, but these days it's almost universally known as a menu item throughout the world, and maintains a reputation as a "morning after" drink ...or "if it were anything else at 8:30 am, you'd have a problem" drink.

Places like to pretend they're trendy by offering a "wasabi Bloody Mary," but both they and their customers are so dumb, that they don't realize that such a name is full of shit. See, Wasabi is wasabi and not wasabi... That means if it's green and in a tube or tin and from the "Asian" section of the store and costs less than $20, it's not actually wasabi. We here at Pinky Mixology embrace this misnomer, because one's interpretation may add validity within the context of... nah fuck it, it's because we're cheap and lazy. Also, real wasabi tastes different and is expensive, and if you mixed it in a Bloody Mary, you'd probably hardly notice.  Real wasabi is not meant to be put in a cocktail like this so don't sweat it.





Don't add salt.  The other things that go in this have enough salt in them already.

Always be sure to grind pepper fresh into this, because the crapola in the pre-filled shakers at the diner or from wherever are just full of the worst kind of shit. You will notice if you try them side by side. Also, a problem with the "mix"of pepper corns you see here, is that they are different sizes, which plays hell with most grinders including mine.  You might wanna try using a bladed spice grinder (aka cheap coffee grinder).



Real wasabi comes from the roots of a water plant, and looks nothing like the green crap you get at your local sushi a-go-go place in the mall. As mentioned, real wasabi is impossible to use in a drink like this anyway, so just roll with the tube stuff.

The spice mix you make should be strong because it's a concentrate, and so it's going to get diluted in the rest of the drink. The good old pointy top squeeze bottle makes a great way to let guests spice up their own drinks at the level they want, so the pussies in the room can still have some. You can usually find these bottles at the dollar stores. Also, this stuff just doesn't really go bad, since it's super salty-spicy.



Another BBQ Bloody Mary how-to on the lazy side is here.



One of the best places to try a great garlic and dill infused vodka, is the Russian Vodka Room in New York. It's worth it, but make sure you go on a weekday, otherwise, you're in for quite the long wait.









So I'm drivin' home from the bar and I bash into this chick from the office and I'm all like "hey bloody, is your name Mary? 'cause I could sure use another cocktail!" ...hahaha. Nah, just kidding, she's in the trunk.



Of course, like many (but not all) cocktails, you can skip the alcohol in this one and just leave it as a nice spicy tomato juice drink for the "Virgin Mary" crowd. It will still have the same spicy qualities and you'll still look hipster-cool when you have it with "brunch" at 4pm over in Williamsburg or Portland or wherever.


Something's wrong w/ the "next time" photo. Guess you're all in for a surprise on 06/07.