Eggnog

Welcome back this holiday season for some holiday drinks. This installment is Eggnog!... and it's late. It's late because... because fuck you, that's why.


Measurements this time were done carefully, so here they are:
4 Eggs
1 cup cream
1.25 cup milk
0.5tsp vanilla extract (we actually ended up using double that, but we're weird)
0.5 cup sugar
1/16-1/8tsp nutmeg (freshly ground right into the stuff)
1/8-1/2tsp cinnamon
1/4 tsp powdered ginger

The C.I.A. (Culinary Institute of America... not that other CIA), has provided a video which you can use as a basic starting point. More videos are out there that vary widely, and so I'd recommend you use your intuition as to what you'd end up liking.


Remember though, this is your drink and you can make it with whatever you like tasting at whatever quantity you want. If you want it thicker, use less milk, more cream. If you want it sweeter, use more sugar. If you like brown sugar... use that! It's not a big deal. Sweeten it with maple syrup, I'll bet that ends up tasting awesome. You think it might benefit from 8oz of Clamato? ...ok you need to re-think that one.
















You can do it the crazy way. Or you can just buy one of these.









Nutmeg was once worth more than its weight in gold. Not so much now thanks to child labor, colonial exploitation, rampant pesticides, deforestation the free hand of the market.




Egg-whites is 1 word here so that it fits on the fucking line. You don't like it? Tough.







At this point, we dd have to add just under a cup of milk, because the flavors and thickness was quite intense. Sticking to the recipe is a good idea, but don't do it when it's obvious it needs something done to improve the final result. Santorum still is funny.















Important notes:
NEVER microwave this. If you're going to heat it up, do it SLOWLY and never pass 120F, otherwise you're gonna end up with scrambled egg soup.

You can freeze leftover eggnog and it will last quite a while. Add a little booze and throw it in a blender and you have eggnog ice-cream more or less.

Having small bottles of different liquor to add makes it easy to please your guests who are expecting a bit of a kick, while at the same time being able to have just one serving bowl of a base eggnog so people who don't drink won't have to worry about which one they're taking from.

Happy Kwanzaa!

Next time: ....fuck I dunno.